Breaking Down Again

I don't know how long I can endure this. I don't know what I am feeling anymore. Why do I have to break down again? Why do I keep thinking about you? Why do I have to be miserable until this time? I think the only thing that can solve my misery is when I am gone. Gone from this world, numb of any pain, numb of what I truly feel.

My life is full of regrets. I can never put myself first. It is too late for me to find my own happiness. I am already old. I need to endure all the pain. I need to put up with what I decided to be. I need to suck it up and face the reality. The reality that this is my reality.

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